i recently read some where in one of the dailies that the catholic church asks its followers to recite a prayer before the act of coitus. now i come from a deeply rooted catholic family where we commune with seminarians,deacons,priests, monsignors, bishops and once in a while archbishops,the cardinal, and oh we once hosted the pope nuncio. with that back ground we follow the dogmas of the pope and the church teachings to the book because its the only sure way to go to heaven. but never have i heard that a prayer before sex was a must so i was left wondering if any human at least my age would take off time to recite a prayer before diving into bed to get it on. in this era where coitus is performed in all sorts of places and involves all sorts of rituals before actual coitus i wondered whether one would find time to recite a grace before sex.
situation one; very rare. one is at the rugby club after a slim win over heathens and in celebration of the win you're full from numerous lagers call it club if you want and there is this girl (for reasons of remaining raw) who has been downing your vodkas like her life depended on it and you manage to convince her to walk to your waiting saloon car and bang she is leaning on you and asking for it would you say the grace?
situation two;WTF you have been chasing this bird for a while inviting you to her place all in vain and one time she's visiting a friend at your hostel and the friend is not in and you bump into her in the hostel corridors and ask her to wait in your room, you put in a good movie and start watching and she forgets she had come to pick a hand out, its evening already you go out pick a bite and when you return she's comfortable on your bed checking out the music on your laptop , you join her and one thing leads to another. the question again would you stop to say the grace?
situation three; extremely tempting. its Saturday morning and you are in office finishing up some report or postings in my case and some intern is around surfing clearly bored and eager to make office interesting she has made it clear to you that she has a thing for accountants, u check and you notice its just three of you in office and you know that surveillance is broken and the third party(receptionist) is busy charting on face book or watching big brother on the reception TV, you meet her at the water cooler give her the look and she grins naively.... again do you stop and say the divinely prayer?
situation four;this is a tricky one BTW you are single recently dumped by galfie so after a month of trying to pick your self up you decide to join the boys in the bar and there you find this old friend from campus who didn't look so good back in the day but thanks to her new job she now has class and a fair sense of style. she's happy to see you , she smiles at you and embraces you in a deep hug clearly wanting you to notice how you are now on level grounds, she even offers to buy you your next drink. the catching up like we call it is set rolling.. fast forward its mid night not the Cinderella mid night where everything good varnishes and she returns to her rugs. she asks if you still have that car you used to drive at campus you agree by a nod of your and signal to the exit she supports her head on your on shoulder and when you get to the car she wont let you ignite the car and because of the loud rock beats still pounding in your head thanks to steak out's rock nite and the last one month of not getting some you boldly start kissing her and before you know it you have acrobatically left the front seats and are ripping each others clothes off.... again would you stop to say the grace?
situation five;thank you BIG GUY. you chased her, went all the way trying to impress, got ridiculed by the boys, you were laughed at and all you got from her was the dreaded NO and it was followed by "we can be friends." she's breath taking so you agreed so that at least you can be seen hanging out with her although in your head you are waiting for the opportune moment. after agreeing to her conditions she became overly friendly and six months down the road she introduces you to her friends as her best friend, she counts on you for the support even if the rest is off limit for you, she has sought your opinion on all her suitors and you have done a good job getting most of them rejected. finally its your birthday and yes you have thrown a drink up for your friends at your dad's house in those urban outskirt palatial residential areas. the alcohol is flowing an since you are not seeing any one thanks to her ever present self, she wants you to have a good day she is doing all to make sure the binge is a success and you are no where to be seen yes the cake has been cut and clearly every one is in zone. she finally finds you in your old room looking at your high school photos and you are smiling at your then innocent self and wondering where in the world your buddies in the snap. she quietly sneaks in, wraps her hand around you, she's tipsy and wants succulent avocados to rub on your arm. the adrenalin is running and she says some words in your ear which you cant register because of the anticipations of the what ifs. you pull her closer and she comes falling in your embrace and it s happening ladies and gentle men.... again would you ruin the moment with prayer? i will leave it there knowing that being the catholic i am sex before marriage is one way to hell and sex with protection is also considered un Godly. however to those of you who partake in coitus below is a grace you should recite and may be then those pills won't be necessary and the prophylactics won't break. amen
situation one; very rare. one is at the rugby club after a slim win over heathens and in celebration of the win you're full from numerous lagers call it club if you want and there is this girl (for reasons of remaining raw) who has been downing your vodkas like her life depended on it and you manage to convince her to walk to your waiting saloon car and bang she is leaning on you and asking for it would you say the grace?
situation two;WTF you have been chasing this bird for a while inviting you to her place all in vain and one time she's visiting a friend at your hostel and the friend is not in and you bump into her in the hostel corridors and ask her to wait in your room, you put in a good movie and start watching and she forgets she had come to pick a hand out, its evening already you go out pick a bite and when you return she's comfortable on your bed checking out the music on your laptop , you join her and one thing leads to another. the question again would you stop to say the grace?
situation three; extremely tempting. its Saturday morning and you are in office finishing up some report or postings in my case and some intern is around surfing clearly bored and eager to make office interesting she has made it clear to you that she has a thing for accountants, u check and you notice its just three of you in office and you know that surveillance is broken and the third party(receptionist) is busy charting on face book or watching big brother on the reception TV, you meet her at the water cooler give her the look and she grins naively.... again do you stop and say the divinely prayer?
situation four;this is a tricky one BTW you are single recently dumped by galfie so after a month of trying to pick your self up you decide to join the boys in the bar and there you find this old friend from campus who didn't look so good back in the day but thanks to her new job she now has class and a fair sense of style. she's happy to see you , she smiles at you and embraces you in a deep hug clearly wanting you to notice how you are now on level grounds, she even offers to buy you your next drink. the catching up like we call it is set rolling.. fast forward its mid night not the Cinderella mid night where everything good varnishes and she returns to her rugs. she asks if you still have that car you used to drive at campus you agree by a nod of your and signal to the exit she supports her head on your on shoulder and when you get to the car she wont let you ignite the car and because of the loud rock beats still pounding in your head thanks to steak out's rock nite and the last one month of not getting some you boldly start kissing her and before you know it you have acrobatically left the front seats and are ripping each others clothes off.... again would you stop to say the grace?
situation five;thank you BIG GUY. you chased her, went all the way trying to impress, got ridiculed by the boys, you were laughed at and all you got from her was the dreaded NO and it was followed by "we can be friends." she's breath taking so you agreed so that at least you can be seen hanging out with her although in your head you are waiting for the opportune moment. after agreeing to her conditions she became overly friendly and six months down the road she introduces you to her friends as her best friend, she counts on you for the support even if the rest is off limit for you, she has sought your opinion on all her suitors and you have done a good job getting most of them rejected. finally its your birthday and yes you have thrown a drink up for your friends at your dad's house in those urban outskirt palatial residential areas. the alcohol is flowing an since you are not seeing any one thanks to her ever present self, she wants you to have a good day she is doing all to make sure the binge is a success and you are no where to be seen yes the cake has been cut and clearly every one is in zone. she finally finds you in your old room looking at your high school photos and you are smiling at your then innocent self and wondering where in the world your buddies in the snap. she quietly sneaks in, wraps her hand around you, she's tipsy and wants succulent avocados to rub on your arm. the adrenalin is running and she says some words in your ear which you cant register because of the anticipations of the what ifs. you pull her closer and she comes falling in your embrace and it s happening ladies and gentle men.... again would you ruin the moment with prayer? i will leave it there knowing that being the catholic i am sex before marriage is one way to hell and sex with protection is also considered un Godly. however to those of you who partake in coitus below is a grace you should recite and may be then those pills won't be necessary and the prophylactics won't break. amen
